1 00:00:00,418 --> 00:00:01,404 2 00:00:01,595 --> 00:00:04,023 Oh, man, I'm fucking starving. 3 00:00:04,024 --> 00:00:06,093 Ugh, I know, man. Orgies always make me ravenous. 4 00:00:06,118 --> 00:00:07,247 Oh, shit, that's right. How'd that go? 5 00:00:07,248 --> 00:00:09,257 It was, uh... 6 00:00:09,258 --> 00:00:11,217 - it would've been good. - Oh. 7 00:00:11,218 --> 00:00:13,217 - No, no, no! - What the fuck? 8 00:00:13,218 --> 00:00:16,057 Take care with that, you peons! 9 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:18,087 That's a priceless family heirloom! 10 00:00:18,088 --> 00:00:20,107 [chuckles] 11 00:00:20,108 --> 00:00:21,556 You there. 12 00:00:21,656 --> 00:00:23,191 You can see me, can't you? 13 00:00:23,192 --> 00:00:25,191 14 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,217 - Hey, what's up? - Huh? 15 00:00:27,218 --> 00:00:29,147 Sir? Sir! 16 00:00:29,172 --> 00:00:30,341 If you have to take a shit so bad, 17 00:00:30,342 --> 00:00:32,272 why didn't you just use the Starbucks back there? 18 00:00:32,372 --> 00:00:33,743 Ah, they got cold seats. I don't like it. 19 00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:35,335 You could've used the Sbarro, 20 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,143 but they have that weird token system, right? 21 00:00:37,144 --> 00:00:39,163 Please, sir, I demand that you halt! 22 00:00:39,189 --> 00:00:41,168 Let's just hurry up. Come on. 23 00:00:41,169 --> 00:00:43,168 - The lines are always long. - I have a meaty 24 00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:45,259 proposition for you. 25 00:00:49,309 --> 00:00:52,189 26 00:00:53,811 --> 00:00:57,144 - Synced and corrected by hawken45 - - www.addic7ed.com - 27 00:01:21,795 --> 00:01:22,984 Oh, man! 28 00:01:23,819 --> 00:01:25,774 This burger is so fucking delicious. 29 00:01:25,775 --> 00:01:27,189 My mouth is watering while I'm eating it. 30 00:01:27,214 --> 00:01:28,627 I didn't know that was possible. 31 00:01:28,628 --> 00:01:30,704 - Why aren't you eating?! - I don't know. 32 00:01:30,729 --> 00:01:32,608 I want to so bad. 33 00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:33,512 [chuckles] I know why. 34 00:01:33,611 --> 00:01:37,500 Because you're in the presence of Beatrix II, 35 00:01:37,501 --> 00:01:39,550 Duchess of Stoubridge. 36 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,087 So the only thing you're hungry for... 37 00:01:42,944 --> 00:01:45,500 - No. - are my sweet juices. 38 00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:47,980 Oh, God. Okay, Clyde, a ghost followed us home. 39 00:01:48,057 --> 00:01:49,446 I'm sorry. I've been hiding it from you. 40 00:01:49,521 --> 00:01:51,245 I had been trying to ignore her like Danny Poker would, 41 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,407 but she's fully naked 42 00:01:52,408 --> 00:01:55,536 and it is very, very hard to look away. 43 00:01:56,588 --> 00:01:58,627 There's a naked ghost in this apartment right now? 44 00:01:58,628 --> 00:02:00,146 Yeah. 45 00:02:00,147 --> 00:02:03,106 - How naked is she? - She's the kind of naked 46 00:02:03,107 --> 00:02:05,176 that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination, 47 00:02:05,177 --> 00:02:07,046 but you kind of wish that some parts were covered 48 00:02:07,047 --> 00:02:08,126 so you could imagine them instead. 49 00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:09,236 That's so fucking hot. 50 00:02:09,237 --> 00:02:13,156 Mm, you're so round and pale. 51 00:02:13,157 --> 00:02:14,196 That's very nice. 52 00:02:14,197 --> 00:02:15,221 Um, would you mind getting up 53 00:02:15,321 --> 00:02:17,312 because, uh, you're smothering my fries 54 00:02:17,313 --> 00:02:18,949 - with your royal buttress. - Oh! No! 55 00:02:18,950 --> 00:02:21,028 - Uh, please stay there! - Don't. Clyde. 56 00:02:21,029 --> 00:02:23,058 - No, Clyde, don't! Ugh. - [giggling] 57 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,948 No, Clyde! Oh, don't... 58 00:02:24,949 --> 00:02:26,709 did you just rub it in her puss? 59 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:28,807 It definitely adds something... 60 00:02:28,935 --> 00:02:30,292 - different. - Oh, my God, Clyde. 61 00:02:30,293 --> 00:02:31,865 You're making this so much harder than it has to be. 62 00:02:31,841 --> 00:02:33,486 Okay, you know what? Why don't you just tell me 63 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,686 - what it is you want? - Mm, I like a lord 64 00:02:35,711 --> 00:02:37,700 - who really gets down to it. - Great. 65 00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:40,069 Well, you see, I was having my portrait done 66 00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,583 by a very fine painter. 67 00:02:41,584 --> 00:02:44,131 But when he showed it to me, it was so dreadful! 68 00:02:44,156 --> 00:02:46,195 - It looked nothing like me! - Mm-hmm. 69 00:02:46,196 --> 00:02:48,225 I was so taken aback that I choked 70 00:02:48,226 --> 00:02:50,185 on the handful of figs I was eating. 71 00:02:50,186 --> 00:02:52,075 - Did you? - I need someone 72 00:02:52,076 --> 00:02:53,205 to fix this monstrosity 73 00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:55,085 before anyone else lays eyes on it. 74 00:02:55,086 --> 00:02:56,205 Mm-hmm, okay, great. 75 00:02:56,206 --> 00:02:58,215 Do you have any idea where this painting is? 76 00:02:58,216 --> 00:03:01,065 Smotherbee's. It's being auctioned off today. 77 00:03:01,066 --> 00:03:03,185 55 and 60. 78 00:03:03,186 --> 00:03:04,205 Anyone, 60? 79 00:03:04,206 --> 00:03:06,135 60. 80 00:03:06,136 --> 00:03:07,195 I have 60. 81 00:03:07,196 --> 00:03:10,105 And sold to the gentleman 82 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,046 with the off-putting facial hair. 83 00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:14,245 [clears throat] 84 00:03:14,246 --> 00:03:17,165 Next up, the Duchess of Stoubridge, 85 00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:19,145 a 16th-century portrait... 86 00:03:19,146 --> 00:03:21,105 Wait till you see this monstrosity. 87 00:03:21,106 --> 00:03:22,145 It's appalling. 88 00:03:22,146 --> 00:03:24,135 No resemblance whatsoever. 89 00:03:24,136 --> 00:03:27,115 With this portrait that upon her first viewing 90 00:03:27,116 --> 00:03:29,155 she choked to death on a handful of figs. 91 00:03:29,156 --> 00:03:30,648 Are you serious? 92 00:03:30,649 --> 00:03:31,778 You must be jesting. 93 00:03:32,373 --> 00:03:33,442 It's a nightmare! 94 00:03:33,819 --> 00:03:35,246 Look under my face! 95 00:03:35,247 --> 00:03:38,286 I gotta say, it's, uh... it's pretty spot-on. 96 00:03:38,812 --> 00:03:40,148 - One chin? - Yeah. 97 00:03:40,149 --> 00:03:42,700 One chin? What am I, a fucking peasant?! 98 00:03:42,725 --> 00:03:44,663 Okay. All right, shut up. I'll fix it. 99 00:03:45,046 --> 00:03:46,447 - Is that her? - Yeah. 100 00:03:47,071 --> 00:03:49,100 Now can you see why I have a hard time eating around her? 101 00:03:49,101 --> 00:03:53,100 Yeah. It's hard to eat with a diamond-hard boner. 102 00:03:53,101 --> 00:03:56,080 And we'll start the bidding at 50,000. 103 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:57,770 I have 50,000. 104 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,440 - Do I hear 60? - Fuck me. 105 00:03:59,465 --> 00:04:01,982 - 65? - As you wish, my lord. 106 00:04:01,983 --> 00:04:03,989 - No. - Ride me hard 107 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,989 and put me away wet. 108 00:04:06,014 --> 00:04:07,133 You're such a pervert! No! 109 00:04:07,134 --> 00:04:09,073 I meant how the fuck am I gonna pay for that? 110 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,023 Are you not royalty? 111 00:04:11,024 --> 00:04:13,133 Well, I have the bank account of a... 112 00:04:13,134 --> 00:04:16,033 somebody from your time who ate garbage probably. 113 00:04:16,034 --> 00:04:18,093 I have 75. Do I hear 80? 114 00:04:18,094 --> 00:04:21,063 I have 80 from one foot in the grave. 115 00:04:21,397 --> 00:04:22,756 Do I hear 90? 116 00:04:22,781 --> 00:04:25,063 I have 90 from the gentleman... 117 00:04:25,731 --> 00:04:28,193 Uh... fashionably late to the argyle party. 118 00:04:28,194 --> 00:04:31,053 100 from one foot in the grave. 119 00:04:31,054 --> 00:04:32,461 - Do I hear 110? - What... I don't... 120 00:04:32,486 --> 00:04:35,455 Going once, going twice, 121 00:04:35,456 --> 00:04:37,847 - and sold for 100,000... - Shit! 122 00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:39,837 To a man who will barely enjoy it 123 00:04:39,838 --> 00:04:40,967 before he dies. 124 00:04:40,968 --> 00:04:42,867 Great, what the fuck am I gonna do now? 125 00:04:42,868 --> 00:04:43,927 Here. 126 00:04:43,928 --> 00:04:48,433 Let me get your creative juices flowing. 127 00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:50,418 No. Ugh. 128 00:04:51,738 --> 00:04:54,046 - Mm. - Oh, shit, stop. 129 00:04:54,071 --> 00:04:56,090 Does that give you any big ideas? 130 00:04:56,091 --> 00:04:58,160 No, just nausea. 131 00:04:58,161 --> 00:05:00,040 - Really? - Yeah. 132 00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:01,090 That's odd. 133 00:05:01,091 --> 00:05:02,613 In my experience, 134 00:05:02,614 --> 00:05:05,683 there's nothing a face full of fruit can't solve. 135 00:05:06,985 --> 00:05:08,955 [knocking on door] 136 00:05:12,374 --> 00:05:13,685 Hey, how you doing, sir? 137 00:05:13,686 --> 00:05:15,727 I'm Jack Slenderson with Smotherbee's. 138 00:05:15,728 --> 00:05:17,655 We just want to congratulate you 139 00:05:17,656 --> 00:05:19,248 on your winning bid this afternoon, 140 00:05:19,273 --> 00:05:21,252 and as a token of our appreciation, 141 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,792 wanted you to have this extremely large edible arrangement. 142 00:05:24,793 --> 00:05:26,871 - Well, thank you. - Does the foyer work? 143 00:05:26,872 --> 00:05:27,931 Yeah. 144 00:05:27,932 --> 00:05:29,792 145 00:06:09,942 --> 00:06:11,901 [exhales] 146 00:06:11,902 --> 00:06:13,851 Ah. [inhales] 147 00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,812 Mm. 148 00:06:20,621 --> 00:06:22,571 [door closes] 149 00:06:27,962 --> 00:06:29,892 What the fuck? 150 00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:37,801 Holy shit, a cat burglar. 151 00:06:37,802 --> 00:06:39,286 Oh, fuck this shit. 152 00:06:41,752 --> 00:06:42,861 Damn it! 153 00:06:43,373 --> 00:06:44,520 It's the fruit. It was the fruit! 154 00:06:44,521 --> 00:06:45,871 I was aiming at your face. 155 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,771 What is that? What are you... 156 00:06:47,772 --> 00:06:49,761 Whoa, what's that? 157 00:06:50,287 --> 00:06:51,386 All right, you done? 158 00:06:51,387 --> 00:06:52,655 Listen to me, buddy. Hey! 159 00:06:52,656 --> 00:06:54,665 There's only one exit out of here and it's behind me. 160 00:06:54,666 --> 00:06:56,205 So I'm gonna give you to the count of three 161 00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:57,748 to give me that fucking painting back, 162 00:06:57,749 --> 00:06:58,757 you piece of shit. 163 00:06:58,759 --> 00:06:59,968 One, 164 00:06:59,969 --> 00:07:01,858 two... 165 00:07:02,307 --> 00:07:03,396 I can't tell your ethnicity. 166 00:07:03,397 --> 00:07:04,998 Maybe you need me to count in Spanish. 167 00:07:04,999 --> 00:07:06,136 Uno, 168 00:07:06,137 --> 00:07:08,016 dos... 169 00:07:08,017 --> 00:07:10,106 170 00:07:10,107 --> 00:07:13,076 [coughing] 171 00:07:13,077 --> 00:07:15,076 Whoa. 172 00:07:15,077 --> 00:07:16,997 Disappear without a tres. 173 00:07:20,017 --> 00:07:22,046 - Mm! - Hey, how'd it go? 174 00:07:22,047 --> 00:07:23,166 Really bad. 175 00:07:23,648 --> 00:07:25,422 I got into a dogfight with a cat burglar. 176 00:07:25,423 --> 00:07:27,001 And, what, he ate all the fruit off your body? 177 00:07:27,002 --> 00:07:29,080 No, Clyde, I'm telling you I got robbed. 178 00:07:29,392 --> 00:07:31,448 You just let a guy steal the painting 179 00:07:31,473 --> 00:07:33,352 like a bitch? Like, there was no scuffle or anything? 180 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,066 Did you just call me a bitch? 181 00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:35,895 I didn't fucking hand it over like a bitch. 182 00:07:35,896 --> 00:07:36,955 There was a big scuffle. 183 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,286 I threw some shit at him really hard. 184 00:07:38,311 --> 00:07:39,360 - Nice. - Yeah! 185 00:07:39,361 --> 00:07:41,220 Dirtied up his shoe real good. 186 00:07:42,074 --> 00:07:43,245 - Oh. - Yeah, he was pretty pissed 187 00:07:43,246 --> 00:07:44,274 while he was wiping off his shoe 188 00:07:44,275 --> 00:07:46,244 with that stupid gargoyle hanky. 189 00:07:46,245 --> 00:07:48,368 - What's a gargoyle hanky? - It's a gargoyle... a hanky. 190 00:07:48,393 --> 00:07:49,260 You know, you pull it out of your pocket, 191 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,470 blow your nose in it, fold over a corner, 192 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:51,571 - put it back in. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, 193 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:52,621 but it had a winged demon on it or...? 194 00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:54,441 No, it's got... 195 00:07:54,964 --> 00:07:55,852 what's that pattern called 196 00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:57,118 where it makes me horny and dizzy? 197 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,683 - Argyle. - Gargyle, Gargyle! 198 00:07:58,684 --> 00:08:00,468 - Gargyle. - No, no, an argyle handkerchief 199 00:08:00,493 --> 00:08:02,382 is what you're talking about. Oh! Like the guy 200 00:08:02,408 --> 00:08:04,397 - from the auction. - You're talking about 201 00:08:04,398 --> 00:08:05,507 - the hat tipper? - Yeah. 202 00:08:05,508 --> 00:08:06,696 Holy shit, do you think he was mad 203 00:08:06,697 --> 00:08:07,726 'cause he didn't win the auction? 204 00:08:07,727 --> 00:08:09,335 - Maybe. - Fuck. 205 00:08:09,629 --> 00:08:11,716 Or maybe he never wanted to win. 206 00:08:11,717 --> 00:08:13,746 What are we having for dinner? 207 00:08:13,747 --> 00:08:15,726 Fuck. 208 00:08:16,285 --> 00:08:18,304 Maybe he was bumping up the bid 209 00:08:18,305 --> 00:08:20,374 to increase the market value of the painting 210 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,394 - before he stole it. - Shit. 211 00:08:22,395 --> 00:08:24,294 That sounds pretty smart. 212 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,384 It also explains why he felt so confident 213 00:08:26,385 --> 00:08:28,334 doing that gay hat tip. 214 00:08:28,335 --> 00:08:30,384 Okay, so... 215 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,265 how do we catch an art thief? 216 00:08:33,355 --> 00:08:35,304 We just need the right kind of bait. 217 00:08:35,305 --> 00:08:37,328 - [clears throat] - And sold 218 00:08:37,329 --> 00:08:38,882 the couple who have not 219 00:08:39,248 --> 00:08:41,307 gone down on each other in a decade... 220 00:08:41,308 --> 00:08:43,177 Beg pardon. Beg pardon. 221 00:08:43,178 --> 00:08:45,237 Beg pardon. Beg pardon. [clears throat] 222 00:08:45,238 --> 00:08:47,307 - Oh, what a magnificent jacket. - Good day, ma'am. 223 00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:49,287 Wow, is that retriever? 224 00:08:49,288 --> 00:08:51,307 May I caress it again? 225 00:08:51,308 --> 00:08:52,690 Again. 226 00:08:52,691 --> 00:08:54,926 Remember, we don't bid until he does. 227 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,070 - Okay? - Yeah. 228 00:08:56,071 --> 00:08:59,110 And we'll open the bidding at 150,000. 229 00:08:59,111 --> 00:09:01,170 I have 150. Do I hear 200? 230 00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:04,090 I have 200. Can I get 225? 231 00:09:04,091 --> 00:09:06,110 Present! Ahem, present! 232 00:09:06,111 --> 00:09:08,000 I have 225 233 00:09:08,001 --> 00:09:09,980 for the penguin brothers. 234 00:09:09,981 --> 00:09:11,950 Can I get 250? 250! 235 00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,980 300? 236 00:09:13,981 --> 00:09:15,060 350? 237 00:09:15,061 --> 00:09:17,030 400. 238 00:09:17,031 --> 00:09:19,160 450. 500. 239 00:09:19,161 --> 00:09:21,030 500 to you, sir. 240 00:09:21,031 --> 00:09:24,050 No? Sir, you're bidding against yourself. 241 00:09:24,051 --> 00:09:25,980 500. 242 00:09:25,981 --> 00:09:28,681 Going once, going twice, and sold 243 00:09:28,682 --> 00:09:32,127 to the gentlemen who appear to be in disguise. 244 00:09:32,128 --> 00:09:32,891 - Oh. - Who? 245 00:09:32,892 --> 00:09:34,911 [guffawing] 246 00:09:43,842 --> 00:09:47,760 So with tax, your total comes to $670,000. 247 00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:48,860 Cash or credit? 248 00:09:48,861 --> 00:09:50,780 [clears throat] 249 00:09:51,011 --> 00:09:53,419 Well, the dilemma I'm coming up against is, uh, 250 00:09:53,444 --> 00:09:54,407 I only seem to have 251 00:09:54,408 --> 00:09:56,019 a couple hundred thousand on me in my wallet. 252 00:09:56,667 --> 00:09:58,212 - Do you take credit? - Of course. 253 00:09:58,213 --> 00:10:00,272 - If I could just get that card. - Indubitably. 254 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,202 - No! - [machine beeps] 255 00:10:05,242 --> 00:10:06,690 - [beeps] - Our system seems 256 00:10:06,691 --> 00:10:07,849 to be down at the moment. 257 00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:09,749 Well, if that's not a kick in the undercarriage, 258 00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:11,739 - I don't know what is. - Do you take checks? 259 00:10:12,538 --> 00:10:14,527 Oh, we're not supposed to take checks. 260 00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:15,653 Oh, biscuits! 261 00:10:15,654 --> 00:10:17,226 We're supposed to be on the yacht by 4:00! 262 00:10:17,227 --> 00:10:18,636 Yeah, yeah, you see, 263 00:10:18,637 --> 00:10:21,013 we're vacationing somewhere very, very wealthy, 264 00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:23,017 very exotic over the next few days. 265 00:10:23,018 --> 00:10:24,987 Oh, sounds lovely. 266 00:10:24,988 --> 00:10:28,937 - Where? - Uh, the Chiquita Islands. 267 00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:30,987 [gasps] Mm! 268 00:10:30,988 --> 00:10:33,047 - Beautiful. - All right. 269 00:10:33,048 --> 00:10:34,301 I'll tell you what. 270 00:10:34,302 --> 00:10:36,113 I'm going to make an exception for you guys 271 00:10:36,114 --> 00:10:38,012 because you're clearly the real deal. 272 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:38,867 - Clearly. - Wonderful. 273 00:10:38,868 --> 00:10:40,471 - Thank you. - Thank you very much, very much. 274 00:10:40,496 --> 00:10:42,809 - Check, one, two. - [walkie-talkie beeps] 275 00:10:43,047 --> 00:10:45,443 Check, check. That is affirmative. Go for Pac. 276 00:10:45,469 --> 00:10:47,418 - [walkie-talkie beeps] - Copy that. 277 00:10:47,419 --> 00:10:50,398 Should we double-check? I think we should double-check. 278 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:54,348 All right. All set for the double check. 279 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,328 Check, check, check. Check one. Check two. 280 00:10:56,329 --> 00:10:57,468 Check, check one. 281 00:10:57,469 --> 00:10:59,418 - Check... Pac, can you hear... - [overlapping dialogue] 282 00:10:59,419 --> 00:11:01,328 Take your finger off the button, 'cause if you've got 283 00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:02,478 your finger on the button, I can't hear you. 284 00:11:02,479 --> 00:11:04,409 Here he comes. 285 00:11:17,449 --> 00:11:19,454 We got you now, dipshit! 286 00:11:19,455 --> 00:11:20,878 287 00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:22,686 Oh, do you? 288 00:11:22,687 --> 00:11:24,586 Don't let him get away! 289 00:11:24,587 --> 00:11:26,586 - Don't let him get away! - [grunts, coughing] 290 00:11:26,587 --> 00:11:28,466 Wait, wait! 291 00:11:28,851 --> 00:11:30,920 Damn it! I've been fighting you the whole time? 292 00:11:30,945 --> 00:11:32,924 Oh, shit! How the fuck did he get away? 293 00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:35,331 - Can't breathe! - Holy shit, we got him. 294 00:11:35,470 --> 00:11:37,315 [groans] 295 00:11:40,015 --> 00:11:41,994 Mm, well... 296 00:11:41,995 --> 00:11:43,974 297 00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:45,064 [chuckles] 298 00:11:45,517 --> 00:11:47,416 Why don't we pull back the layers here 299 00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:48,455 and see what we're dealing with? 300 00:11:48,456 --> 00:11:49,985 Pac, it's the hat tip guy. 301 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,690 What the... Clyde, what the fuck are you doing? 302 00:11:51,715 --> 00:11:52,814 Why... why did you... you ruined the reveal. 303 00:11:52,815 --> 00:11:53,847 We're pretty sure we know who it is. 304 00:11:53,823 --> 00:11:55,540 It doesn't matter! It was gonna be cool, man. 305 00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:56,550 I was gonna rip the thing. We were gonna both be like, 306 00:11:56,551 --> 00:11:58,174 "It's the hat tipper." 307 00:11:58,539 --> 00:12:00,218 - Go ahead. - Oh, you want me to do it now? 308 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,585 If it means that much to you, go ahead! 309 00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:03,202 - Here we go, look. - [grunting] 310 00:12:03,203 --> 00:12:04,252 Oh, it's the hat tipper guy. 311 00:12:04,253 --> 00:12:05,624 Big anticlimactic moment now. 312 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,644 Thank you very much, Clyde. 313 00:12:06,645 --> 00:12:08,604 We literally had one suspect. 314 00:12:08,605 --> 00:12:10,752 It doesn't matter! It was gonna be like a big, you know! 315 00:12:10,777 --> 00:12:11,936 - It was! - I don't wanna... 316 00:12:11,937 --> 00:12:13,471 I don't wanna do this right now, not in front of him. 317 00:12:13,479 --> 00:12:14,111 - Fine. - You're embarrassing me 318 00:12:14,112 --> 00:12:15,596 in front of the burglar. 319 00:12:15,597 --> 00:12:16,656 Let's just figure out who he is. 320 00:12:17,666 --> 00:12:19,765 Who the fuck are you, fuck face? 321 00:12:19,766 --> 00:12:21,725 The name is Janus. 322 00:12:21,726 --> 00:12:23,685 Hugh Janus. 323 00:12:23,686 --> 00:12:26,755 [snickering] 324 00:12:26,756 --> 00:12:28,595 What's so funny? 325 00:12:28,596 --> 00:12:30,208 Your name is Huge Anus? 326 00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:31,148 Huge Anus? 327 00:12:31,149 --> 00:12:33,926 It's a very popular name in England. 328 00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:35,735 There's practically a Hugh Janus on every block. 329 00:12:37,927 --> 00:12:39,442 I've been in positions worse than this 330 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,986 a thousand times over 331 00:12:40,987 --> 00:12:42,127 and I've always lived to tell the tale. 332 00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:43,436 Oh, have you, Huge Anus? 333 00:12:43,461 --> 00:12:44,884 [laughs] 334 00:12:44,885 --> 00:12:46,004 - Oh! - Listen, 335 00:12:46,579 --> 00:12:47,521 you need to tell us 336 00:12:47,522 --> 00:12:49,272 exactly where the painting of that duchess is 337 00:12:49,297 --> 00:12:51,177 - or else... - Or else what? 338 00:12:52,585 --> 00:12:54,807 - Huh? - Did you hear how he asked me, 339 00:12:54,832 --> 00:12:55,832 - "Or else what?" - Yeah, I did. 340 00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:56,965 So how should I respond? 341 00:12:56,990 --> 00:12:58,079 What were you gonna say before he cut you off? 342 00:12:58,303 --> 00:12:59,773 I actually had no plan. I don't know. 343 00:12:59,774 --> 00:13:00,803 You didn't go with another plan? 344 00:13:00,805 --> 00:13:01,470 It was a threat. 345 00:13:01,471 --> 00:13:03,358 Yeah, but you can't make an empty threat 346 00:13:03,359 --> 00:13:04,478 - to a burglar. - It's something people say. 347 00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,358 I didn't expect that I was actually gonna... 348 00:13:06,359 --> 00:13:07,418 I understand, but this is a dangerous man... 349 00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:09,478 - Oh! - Oh, shit, Clyde! Oh! 350 00:13:09,479 --> 00:13:11,368 Fucking nice try, buddy. 351 00:13:11,369 --> 00:13:12,498 You're gonna kick someone in the nuts, 352 00:13:12,499 --> 00:13:14,358 you better make sure it... f... oh, there it is. 353 00:13:14,359 --> 00:13:16,458 - [grunting] - Oh, it was on a delay! 354 00:13:16,459 --> 00:13:18,308 [groaning] 355 00:13:18,309 --> 00:13:19,389 Oh, God. 356 00:13:20,419 --> 00:13:21,498 [canvas rips] 357 00:13:22,942 --> 00:13:24,881 Ah, bollocks! 358 00:13:24,882 --> 00:13:26,490 [whimpers] Ah! 359 00:13:26,491 --> 00:13:27,795 Oh, it's okay. I can fix this. 360 00:13:27,796 --> 00:13:28,965 All I need is some... some glue 361 00:13:28,966 --> 00:13:30,796 and a new painting. 362 00:13:32,936 --> 00:13:34,845 Canvas King? 363 00:13:34,846 --> 00:13:35,925 I can't believe it. 364 00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:38,433 Yeah, the deals at Framing Captain 365 00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:40,973 - are way better. - No, you moron! 366 00:13:40,974 --> 00:13:42,903 - It's a fake! - No, it's not. 367 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,884 - I can see it right here. - It's a beautiful piece. 368 00:13:44,885 --> 00:13:46,035 - I think it... - Yeah, it's nice. 369 00:13:48,065 --> 00:13:49,955 Another fake. 370 00:13:52,115 --> 00:13:54,074 Fake, 371 00:13:54,075 --> 00:13:56,024 fake, 372 00:13:56,025 --> 00:13:58,934 fake. They're all fakes! 373 00:13:58,935 --> 00:14:00,014 [panting] 374 00:14:00,015 --> 00:14:01,914 I'm gonna hyperventilate. 375 00:14:01,915 --> 00:14:03,104 - I'm hyperventilating. - No, no, no, wait. 376 00:14:03,105 --> 00:14:04,984 Here, here, here, breathe through this. 377 00:14:04,985 --> 00:14:06,074 Oh, yeah, yeah. 378 00:14:06,075 --> 00:14:08,094 Take it slow and deep. 379 00:14:08,095 --> 00:14:09,984 Huh. 380 00:14:09,985 --> 00:14:11,884 Oh, sorry. 381 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:12,984 That must've been a huffer's bag. 382 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,620 Holy shit. That means we have no idea 383 00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,179 where the real painting is. 384 00:14:16,214 --> 00:14:18,233 Oh, my God. My blood sugar is dangerously low. 385 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,277 - They're gonna kill me. - The huffers? 386 00:14:20,278 --> 00:14:21,718 No, no, no, they left the bag. 387 00:14:21,719 --> 00:14:23,417 - That's on them. - The sheik. 388 00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:25,391 Are... are you saying sheet? 389 00:14:25,392 --> 00:14:27,351 - Sheik! - Sheet? 390 00:14:27,352 --> 00:14:28,674 The Saudi sheik! 391 00:14:28,675 --> 00:14:31,021 I've already sold him all these paintings. 392 00:14:32,235 --> 00:14:34,694 He's sending his henchman tomorrow to pick them up. 393 00:14:35,388 --> 00:14:36,537 I'm gonna get killed 394 00:14:36,538 --> 00:14:38,558 because the auction house is selling fake art. 395 00:14:38,559 --> 00:14:40,718 No. No, the art at Smotherbee's is real. 396 00:14:40,743 --> 00:14:42,652 The ghost wouldn't haunt a fake painting. 397 00:14:42,653 --> 00:14:44,732 Which one of us just huffed paint? 398 00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:46,419 Oh, no, no, no. He can talk to ghosts. 399 00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,329 - Did we not cover that? Yeah. - We have a whole business 400 00:14:48,330 --> 00:14:49,449 and a website and everything. You should check it out. 401 00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:51,768 - We got some deals. - Daily specials. 402 00:14:51,769 --> 00:14:53,917 There must be a swap happening 403 00:14:53,918 --> 00:14:55,797 at the auction house. 404 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,458 Listen up, 405 00:14:57,459 --> 00:14:59,296 - we'll need to... - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 406 00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:00,387 - What do you mean "we'll"? - Yeah. 407 00:15:00,388 --> 00:15:01,848 You just Beckhamed my balls in there, man. 408 00:15:01,849 --> 00:15:02,928 Yeah, why would we work with you? 409 00:15:02,929 --> 00:15:04,783 Look, trust me, 410 00:15:04,784 --> 00:15:06,371 I don't wanna work with you inbreds either. 411 00:15:06,396 --> 00:15:08,325 - Pfft. - Unfortunately, 412 00:15:08,326 --> 00:15:11,021 this is a job that requires more than one set of eyes. 413 00:15:11,022 --> 00:15:12,991 Ugh, fuck it, man. I don't know. 414 00:15:12,992 --> 00:15:14,941 I don't know. I don't know. 415 00:15:14,942 --> 00:15:16,141 I make bad decisions on an empty stomach. 416 00:15:16,142 --> 00:15:18,991 - Is that a granola bar? - Yeah. 417 00:15:18,992 --> 00:15:21,022 Can I have this? Ha! 418 00:15:23,132 --> 00:15:28,072 Save some hunger to munch the royal box, my savior. 419 00:15:29,132 --> 00:15:30,982 Yeah, I'm all in. 420 00:15:32,816 --> 00:15:34,814 Let me walk you through this nice and slow. 421 00:15:34,815 --> 00:15:37,723 I'll be surveying the auction from the back row, 422 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,336 waiting for something valuable to go up for bid. 423 00:15:40,361 --> 00:15:42,380 Now lot number 195. 424 00:15:42,381 --> 00:15:44,390 And we'll start the bidding at 400,000. 425 00:15:44,391 --> 00:15:46,370 $400. I have 400. 426 00:15:46,371 --> 00:15:47,859 - 425? - You two will be stationed 427 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:50,291 outside, posing as illiterate plumbers. 428 00:15:50,292 --> 00:15:54,231 If the art goes out the back, you guys tail it. 429 00:15:54,232 --> 00:15:55,351 And sold 430 00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,205 to the woman with the real fur 431 00:15:58,206 --> 00:15:59,325 and the fake cheekbones. 432 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,255 Normally, I follow the buyer, 433 00:16:01,256 --> 00:16:03,235 but this time, I'll follow the art. 434 00:16:03,236 --> 00:16:05,245 435 00:16:05,246 --> 00:16:07,304 If we can keep an eye on the original artwork, 436 00:16:07,305 --> 00:16:08,588 it should lead us directly 437 00:16:08,589 --> 00:16:10,518 to where the other originals are being stored. 438 00:16:10,519 --> 00:16:11,699 439 00:16:37,834 --> 00:16:40,356 [walkie-talkie feedback] Check, check, check. 440 00:16:40,381 --> 00:16:41,854 I wanna do a double check on the walkies. 441 00:16:41,855 --> 00:16:43,864 - Go. - Stop doing walkie checks. 442 00:16:43,865 --> 00:16:45,358 The walkies work fucking fine. 443 00:16:45,383 --> 00:16:49,322 Uh, that's because we do walkie checks, Hugh. 444 00:16:49,323 --> 00:16:51,348 Ooh, walkie burn. 445 00:16:51,349 --> 00:16:53,569 Gents, there are now two pieces of artwork 446 00:16:53,594 --> 00:16:54,789 coming your way. 447 00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:55,879 Well, which one's real? 448 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,859 I don't know. 449 00:16:58,325 --> 00:16:59,444 Wow, you really shit the bed 450 00:16:59,445 --> 00:17:01,424 on that one, huh, Huge Anus? 451 00:17:01,425 --> 00:17:02,586 [laughing] 452 00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:04,626 Just shut the fuck up and follow them both. 453 00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:05,617 It doesn't get old. 454 00:17:06,737 --> 00:17:08,686 Oh. Shit! 455 00:17:08,687 --> 00:17:10,616 They're getting in two separate vans. 456 00:17:10,617 --> 00:17:12,596 You thinking what I'm thinking? 457 00:17:12,597 --> 00:17:14,607 458 00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:19,596 A, B, C 459 00:17:19,597 --> 00:17:21,616 A, B, C 460 00:17:21,617 --> 00:17:23,616 - Yeah - A, B, C 461 00:17:23,617 --> 00:17:25,606 - [singing in Chinese] - A, B, C 462 00:17:25,607 --> 00:17:28,512 - [singing in Chinese] - A, B, C 463 00:17:28,735 --> 00:17:29,507 Oh, shit! 464 00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:31,846 No, that's not what I was thinking at all. 465 00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,156 All right. Fuck it, let's go. 466 00:17:33,157 --> 00:17:33,759 Ha! 467 00:17:35,081 --> 00:17:37,110 A, B, C 468 00:17:37,111 --> 00:17:38,240 - [singing in Chinese] - A, B, C 469 00:17:38,241 --> 00:17:41,280 - [singing in Chinese] - A, B. 470 00:17:51,191 --> 00:17:53,090 Are you chaps following those vans? 471 00:17:53,091 --> 00:17:55,464 Oh, shit. I think mine's going to JFK. 472 00:17:55,489 --> 00:17:57,140 You're headed for the airport? 473 00:17:57,141 --> 00:17:58,220 That must be the one. 474 00:17:58,221 --> 00:18:00,220 Overseas black market, I imagine. 475 00:18:00,221 --> 00:18:01,484 Be careful. 476 00:18:01,509 --> 00:18:03,558 Your life depends on your stealth. 477 00:18:03,888 --> 00:18:04,967 You're dealing with people 478 00:18:04,992 --> 00:18:06,682 who might just rip off your penis 479 00:18:06,683 --> 00:18:08,692 - to prove a point. - Nope, scratch that. 480 00:18:08,868 --> 00:18:10,736 Pulling into an Olive Patches. 481 00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:11,867 What is that? 482 00:18:11,868 --> 00:18:13,187 It's a delicious Italian experience 483 00:18:13,212 --> 00:18:14,212 for the whole family. 484 00:18:14,237 --> 00:18:15,285 Oh, good news. 485 00:18:15,286 --> 00:18:16,345 Your dick is probably fine. 486 00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,365 Clyde, your dick 487 00:18:18,366 --> 00:18:20,295 is now the one that needs to be worried about. 488 00:18:20,296 --> 00:18:23,225 Whatever you do, don't let them out of your sight. 489 00:18:23,226 --> 00:18:25,806 My dick is magnificent. I got this. 490 00:18:25,807 --> 00:18:28,866 - You never showed up for drop. - Clyde? 491 00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:30,292 Clyde, come in. Are you there? 492 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:31,885 - Yeah, Pac, what is it? - Hey! 493 00:18:31,887 --> 00:18:33,936 Hey, do I like pesto? 494 00:18:34,126 --> 00:18:36,811 No. You're more of a red sauce kind of guy. 495 00:18:37,264 --> 00:18:38,886 I thought so. Thank you. 496 00:18:39,374 --> 00:18:40,856 Oh, shit! I think I've been spotted! 497 00:18:40,857 --> 00:18:41,976 - He's starting to speed up. - Shit. 498 00:18:41,977 --> 00:18:44,460 What should I do? Hugh, are you there? 499 00:18:45,143 --> 00:18:46,631 Give me a second, Clyde. 500 00:18:46,724 --> 00:18:48,713 - Fucking Hugh. - Fuck, dude! 501 00:18:48,738 --> 00:18:50,065 He definitely spotted me. 502 00:18:50,066 --> 00:18:51,995 He's starting to drive really close to the guardrail. 503 00:18:51,996 --> 00:18:53,075 Fuck. 504 00:18:53,076 --> 00:18:54,965 - Pac, are you hearing me? - Hey, man. 505 00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:56,985 Would you like to hear our specials? 506 00:18:56,986 --> 00:18:58,095 I... 507 00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:01,035 I would fucking love to hear the specials. 508 00:19:01,036 --> 00:19:03,055 Perfect. We have a delicious 509 00:19:03,056 --> 00:19:04,759 ham ravioli in cheese sauce. 510 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,503 Our soup of the day is bacon fat and onion. 511 00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:08,808 - That sounds good. - Oh, good. 512 00:19:08,809 --> 00:19:10,748 And then we have this incredible deep-fried noodle 513 00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:11,838 dipped in sugar for dessert. 514 00:19:11,839 --> 00:19:13,513 Oh, what? Oh. 515 00:19:13,696 --> 00:19:14,973 Fuck this. I have no choice. 516 00:19:14,974 --> 00:19:16,044 I'm gonna go under the van. 517 00:19:17,984 --> 00:19:21,053 Okay, I think I've found the fuel line. 518 00:19:21,054 --> 00:19:23,441 I'm starting to think I should put the walkie down. 519 00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:26,305 Whoa! Holy shit, he's really trying to shake me! 520 00:19:26,306 --> 00:19:28,325 - [tires screech] - All right, I got my knife out. 521 00:19:28,326 --> 00:19:31,021 All right, I'm slicing through the fuel line. 522 00:19:31,022 --> 00:19:33,011 Oh, shit! That looks like a pretty sharp turn ahead! 523 00:19:33,013 --> 00:19:34,032 - [tires screech] - [screams] 524 00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:35,993 [static crackles] 525 00:19:38,083 --> 00:19:40,072 [buttons beeping] 526 00:19:40,073 --> 00:19:42,062 I'm, uh... 527 00:19:43,005 --> 00:19:43,992 I'm sure he's fine. 528 00:19:43,993 --> 00:19:45,938 He's probably just out of walkie-talkie range. 529 00:19:45,939 --> 00:19:46,612 So what did you say 530 00:19:46,613 --> 00:19:48,461 the cheese-to-noodle ratio was on the lasagna? 531 00:19:48,462 --> 00:19:50,502 - Or did you not say? - [steam hisses] 532 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:03,502 Holy shit! 533 00:20:05,394 --> 00:20:07,671 Hey, Pac. My van has the fake painting. 534 00:20:07,696 --> 00:20:09,685 - [munching] - Are you there? 535 00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:11,472 All right, let me know 536 00:20:11,497 --> 00:20:13,337 when you turn your walkie back on. 537 00:20:16,826 --> 00:20:18,735 The fuck? 538 00:20:18,736 --> 00:20:20,695 Beautiful, aren't they? 539 00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:23,018 You. 540 00:20:24,416 --> 00:20:26,505 - Why? - People who attend auctions 541 00:20:26,506 --> 00:20:30,345 are... assholes 542 00:20:30,346 --> 00:20:32,515 hoarding beauty. 543 00:20:32,516 --> 00:20:36,495 I can't think of anything more gluttonous. 544 00:20:37,258 --> 00:20:39,996 This is where true art belongs. 545 00:20:39,997 --> 00:20:42,056 Hanging above the velveteen baguettes? 546 00:20:42,057 --> 00:20:44,056 - With the masses. - Oh. 547 00:20:44,057 --> 00:20:46,176 Art is not a privilege. 548 00:20:46,739 --> 00:20:48,427 It is a God-given right. 549 00:20:48,428 --> 00:20:51,126 Just like endless soup and bottomless breadsticks. 550 00:20:51,127 --> 00:20:54,055 - Well, sort of. - No, I think that's bang-on. 551 00:20:54,057 --> 00:20:58,106 Oh, what a wondrous place this is, 552 00:20:58,107 --> 00:21:01,236 filled with so many wealthy 553 00:21:01,237 --> 00:21:03,276 and attractive people. 554 00:21:03,277 --> 00:21:06,166 I can think of no better venue 555 00:21:06,167 --> 00:21:08,885 for my likeness to hang for all eternity. 556 00:21:08,886 --> 00:21:09,973 [clears throat] Okay, dude, 557 00:21:09,974 --> 00:21:11,943 your little secret will stay safe with me, 558 00:21:11,944 --> 00:21:13,893 but you need to do me one favor in return. 559 00:21:13,894 --> 00:21:14,993 Nothing sex-related. 560 00:21:14,994 --> 00:21:16,943 I... I just... What... what? No! 561 00:21:16,944 --> 00:21:18,923 I don't... no, I just... 562 00:21:18,924 --> 00:21:20,903 I need to make one teeny, tiny alteration 563 00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,054 to that painting right there. 564 00:21:23,994 --> 00:21:26,984 - Sold. - To that man there. Okay. 565 00:21:34,505 --> 00:21:35,705 Excuse me. 566 00:21:43,944 --> 00:21:45,913 Yeah. 567 00:21:45,914 --> 00:21:47,063 That's the jam. 568 00:21:47,064 --> 00:21:48,934 Oh! 569 00:21:50,864 --> 00:21:52,833 I'm gorgeous. 570 00:21:52,834 --> 00:21:55,003 You sure are. 571 00:21:55,302 --> 00:21:58,231 One last treat for you. 572 00:21:58,256 --> 00:21:59,305 Huh? 573 00:21:59,306 --> 00:22:02,225 No. Ah... 574 00:22:02,226 --> 00:22:05,226 That... not necessary. Thank you. 575 00:22:07,256 --> 00:22:08,355 [clears throat] 576 00:22:08,356 --> 00:22:10,236 Farewell. 577 00:22:15,810 --> 00:22:17,729 One more celebratory plate of lasagna, methinks. 578 00:22:17,730 --> 00:22:18,700 [snaps fingers] 579 00:22:20,285 --> 00:22:22,407 Yoo-hoo, Huge Anus. Check, check, check. 580 00:22:22,432 --> 00:22:23,995 - This is Pac. - And Clyde. 581 00:22:23,996 --> 00:22:25,956 And Clyde, obviously. 582 00:22:28,046 --> 00:22:29,965 Hugh, you there? You okay, bud? 583 00:22:29,966 --> 00:22:31,175 Ask him if he smokes weed. 584 00:22:31,176 --> 00:22:33,946 Hugh, do you smoke weed? 585 00:22:36,046 --> 00:22:38,076 Hugh, do you smoke-a the weed? 586 00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:43,075 - You think he's okay? - Yeah, totally. 587 00:22:43,076 --> 00:22:44,946 Maybe he's dead. 588 00:22:46,026 --> 00:22:48,045 - [groans] - Hugh, are you dead? 589 00:22:48,046 --> 00:22:50,085 [laughing] 590 00:22:50,086 --> 00:22:52,065 Are you laying in a pool of your own blood right now? 591 00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:54,106 [laughing] 592 00:22:57,026 --> 00:22:58,155 Hugh! 593 00:22:58,156 --> 00:23:00,985 Huuugh! 594 00:23:00,986 --> 00:23:02,051 Hope he's okay. 595 00:23:02,052 --> 00:23:03,563 Oh, yeah, I'm sure he's fine. 596 00:23:03,564 --> 00:23:04,663 Probably just got his finger on the button. 597 00:23:05,172 --> 00:23:06,641 Rookie. [chuckles] 598 00:23:10,429 --> 00:23:15,429 - Synced and corrected by hawken45 - - www.addic7ed.com - 599 00:23:15,479 --> 00:23:20,029 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0